Spies Like Us
by Jacob M. Bosch
Summary: He could never risk losing this man. He’ll keep dancing on the precipice until there's nothing else to do but fall. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

Spies Like Us

Disclaimer: Do not own a single Mutant Enemy character in this story. Not a one. So if you insist on suing me, I must warn you I have few possessions worth an hour of your lawyer's time.

Spoilers: Everything up to Season 4 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and not much else.

Beta: **someone random.** Big thanks All mistakes from here on out are mine.

* * *

It shouldn't have felt this safe being in Riley's dorm room, lying on his bed, but it did feel safe and Xander burrowed. Riley's room was very masculine. No, utilitarian. Xander was sure there were girls who liked their space as Spartan as this one, so maybe masculine wasn't the right way to describe the room. Xander thought the space could use some sprucing. Maybe a Batman poster on that wall, some commemorative plates on that dresser, perhaps even a life-sized cutout of Keanu Reeves in the corner over there. But Xander figured his and Riley's relationship was too new for him to be suggesting radically redecorating Riley's personal space. Although… two or three weeks from now might be the perfect time to re-educate Riley and his somewhat retarded sense of décor.

Riley was gone for the moment. Xander wasn't supposed to know where to, but of course he did. He wasn't supposed to leave the room either, which he had no desire to do. Riley never came out and stated Xander was a prisoner in the frat house whenever he stayed overnight, Riley just made it seem as if his frat brothers were uncomfortable with their "relationship", and it was better if they didn't flaunt their gayness. Xander didn't complain. He wasn't even hurt when his boyfriend lied to him. It was easy to take Riley's dishonesty in stride mainly due to the fact he wasn't being mister candor guy himself. He was, in fact, fibbing his ass off ninety percent of the time when he was with Riley.

And you know what? The lying wouldn't make him feel so bad if he wasn't in… _something_ with Riley. Xander was starting to get the same feeling he got after he began cheating on Cordy with Willow. Except without the wonderful thrill of making out with Willow, which at the time was so good it made Xander forget he was heading straight for disaster. He tried telling the gang he wanted out, but they were all counting on him to get the skinny on Riley and the Initiative.

You'd think they'd show a little more sympathy since he was sleeping with Riley. That mayhap Xander was developing some feelings for the guy and the spying should cease and desist. Of course they might have understood Xander's position—if they had any idea he was "fraternizing" with the enemy.

Giles never would have let Xander volunteer for the spy gig if he'd known there was a chance this circumstance could come about. Buffy and Angel proved personal issues—sex—can only complicate a mission—especially one as sensitive as spying on a military group like the Initiative. Truth was Buffy or Willow should have tried getting close to Riley Finn. They were students in the class where he was the student teacher. And since he was friendly with both Willow and Buffy it seemed natural one of them did the infiltrating. Maybe that would have been better in the long run.

At first no one thought of Xander when the idea to infiltrate the Initiative germinated. No, why ask the guy with the soldier memories? The guy who would recognize any military goings-on if he saw them? No, that might make sense! Okay, so it didn't occurred to Xander he might be the better man for the job either, but Giles should have been the first one to think of making Xander their mole. Oz had to mention Xander's qualifications; actually, Oz probably thought Willow's life would be in danger and was somewhat less concerned about Xander's welfare. Still, Xander chose to take Oz's nomination as flattery. Better than thinking the guy wanted him dead.

So Xander took the job. It turned out to be a near**-**Herculean effort to get close to Riley. Riley didn't party at any of the townie spots in Sunnydale. Xander stalked — er, watched him for two weeks, noting that as Riley haunted the campus he was either grading papers or hanging around the frat house. Xander knew now that Riley got out of the frat through some hidden exit to do his commando duty, but for the longest time he'd believed Buffy only thought she'd heard Riley's voice giving out orders to a half dozen men in fatigues. So Riley's life consisted of three activities: teaching, hanging with his frat brothersand doing the Initiative thing. None of Riley's usual activities allowed Xander to insinuate himself into Riley's life. Then a miracle happened Xander got himself a plan.

* * *

After two weeks of long boring stakeouts, Xander was about to call it quits when he happened to notice Riley giving one of his frat brothers 'The Look'. Oh, Xander knew all about that look. The Look was his special skill back in high school. He took it to new levels after gym class in the showers. Ordinarily (and Larry confirmed this when they, well, dated), one never stares in the showers or in the locker room. The fear of being found out keeps your eyes forward no matter how sculpted the chest, or how defined the abs. Even a perfect tight ass won't make your gaze drop below a guy's chin. But there was always that one guy, the guy with a body so unbelievably gorgeous you had to take a gander. Thus, The Look was born.

The Look is a quick, clever animal. If you'd mastered it like Xander had then you can not only get your gander, you can memorize for further enjoyment later, and never get caught. Riley was good at using The Look, but his timing was off a little. He let his gaze linger too long. He had no restraint. Yes, Graham's body could make you cry for its sheer beauty, but discipline was called for when you're using The Look. Otherwise you might as well go up to the guy and offer to blow him. All it took was one person to catch you peeking to give away your sexual preference.

The day he caught Riley eyeballing Graham, Xander was watching from under an ancient, but sturdy oak tree that provided him and several UC Sunnydale students with cool shade. Some of the students were reading books—Xander was pretending to read an old frayed paperback himself—and a few did schoolwork on neat-looking laptops. Everyone else just enjoyed the view the frat boys gave him or her. A couple of girls even had a blanket spread out just for the occasion.

Riley and Graham along with eight other frat boys gathered on a flat grassy area in the quad to play flag football. Thinking back on that day Xander was convinced he'd been falling for Riley before they actually met. Half the guys playing the game stripped off their shirts and Xander didn't notice them his concentration was fixed squarely on Riley—and Riley was playing on the shirts team. And these frat guys were hot—every one. Incredibly hot, and they were sweating for God's sake!

Graham was on the skins team and had just thrown a winning touchdown. After everyone whooped and hollered about it the teams huddled separately to plan their next play. Riley's team was not taking the last touchdown well and argued at each other over which play they should make. Riley was standing silently as he listened to the self-appointed team captain lay out a plan of attack while gesticulating wildly. Riley slicked back his sweat**-**soaked hair over his scalp but he was breathing pretty evenly for someone playing a physically demanding game. Actually most of the frat bothers seemed awfully not tired.

One of the guys on the skins shouted "Get ready to get your ass kicked!" Several of the shirts flipped the loudmouth the bird without breaking their huddle. Riley didn't do anything except use The Look. Xander couldn't believe his eyes. He quickly followed Riley's gaze and saw why Riley used it. Graham was stretching, his fingers interlocked as he raised his arms above his head, the sun's rays touching his palms.

"Goddamn," Xander whispered, caught in the same spell that made Riley mangle The Look. All the muscles in Graham's torso pulled tight, elongated and rippled. His sweat acted like baby oil and accentuated every ridge and valley his muscles formed. Graham was begging to get licked posing like that. The game continued and Graham stopped putting a show.

After Xander willed his erection tame, his mind began processing what he just learned about Riley Finn. If Xander read Riley correctly then the covert agent had more than a passing interest in males. That was good it meant Xander had an in. Now Xander wasn't conceited enough to think he was a prime catch, but he was confident he was attractive to a fair amount of menWhy shouldn't Riley be one of them? Yeah… yeah, that's what he'd do: he'd come on to Riley and if that didn't pan out then at least Xander would have made contact. He could always build from that if romance wasn't in the cards then striking up a cordial relationship might do the job. Sunnydale was a small town after all, and people bump into each other all the time. It wasn't the best plan, but it would have to do.

Two days later Xander put his plan into action.

* * *

Don't ask don't tell. Xander was not politically savvy; he could not care less about the military's mandate on gays since he had no intention of joining the armed forces, like, ever. Being Soldier guy on Halloween was fun and all, but making a lifetime career out of it? Not so much. It took him flirting with Riley for the better part of a week and Riley's constant flightiness before Xander remembered the man was working for a paramilitary group and was not going to be tomcatting just because the urge hit him.

It was frustrating because Xander could tell Riley was totally into him, which was awesome. Xander wasn't having the best luck with guys since Larry went off to San Francisco—officially to find himself, but Xander had a sneaking suspicion Larry was there finding a bunch of men to find himself with. Not that Xander was jealous he truly wasn't, him and Larry were pretty much friends with benefits, not a real couple. Still, Xander hated that he was missing regular sexing, especially after almost a year of constant hot, sweaty man-sex. If he could get Riley to overcome his hesitance, Xander was more than willing to whore himself for the cause.

But first Xander had to get Riley to take the bait.

Xander snuck onto the UC Sunnydale campus again for the hundredth time, but this time it was different because it was after dark. Buffy had to walk with him to protect him from demons and for a cover in case campus security decided to do their job. Willow told Xander Riley was going to be grading papers in the classroom that night and he'd be alone. It was the perfect opportunity to corner Riley and put the moves on secret agent man.

Riley was alone, hunched over a desk in front of a dozen ascending rows of seats. The lights were off, but Riley used a small desk lamp to grade papers by. Xander watched him for a minute and a half. Riley was very cute concentrating so hard on his work. It occurred to Xander Riley looked like an adult sitting behind Professor Walsh's desk. It also occurred to Xander that if he started something with him it was going to be a grown up relationship. They wouldn't be "butt buddies"; they wouldn't be giving each other head in the boiler room under the school and they wouldn't be renting rooms in seedy motels to have sex. Xander also realized it'd all, in the end, be a lie.

Xander wanted to walk away. Even worse, he wanted to go ahead and be with Riley. Xander didn't have to spy on him, he could tell the gang whatever he wanted, how would they know the difference? Xander knew doing that would be wrong, but damn it, it wasn't like Sunnydale was the Homo capital of the world! Guys weren't lining up to date him, the exemplary specimen of manhood that he was, and the small taste of gay life Xander received after Larry was enough to convince him it'd be a real feat to have a hot and seemingly nice guy like Riley in his life, however briefly.

Xander didn't walk away. It'd be wrong to say Xander gave two figs about Spike getting de-chipped—a vampire unable to maim and kill? Boo-freaking-hoo—but Giles and Buffy were concerned about the Initiative's recent actions. The demon community was up in arms. Once it got out the paramilitary group held "Sub-T's" in cells and experimented on them, it was like some unspoken balance was disturbed. As a result a few low-level demons started putting out the call for higher-level demons to deal with the Initiative. There was even talk about The Order of Taraka getting in on the beat down. It was Xander's theory that demons could deal with being slain by a five-foot-three one hundred pound girl, but drew the line at getting un-fun anal probes and dissected.

Whatever his feelings, Xander needed to find out all that he could about Riley and his associates. What he learned could be what stopped a bunch of people from indiscriminate slaughter. Xander was a little vague on exactly how the info was going to do that, but certainly Giles and Buffy had something up their sleeves.

"Howdy there, pah-nah," Xander said as he entered the classroom.

Riley looked up and at Xander, the pen in his hand stopping in mid-motion. Xander was pleased to see instant recognition on Riley's face. His stomach did flip-flops when Riley smiled.

"Xander. You're here," Riley replied, looking Xander down and up real slow so there was nothing subtle about it.

"For your viewing pleasure."

Riley blushed, because, apparently, he could eye-fuck like crazy but a little innuendo made him flush pretty. Xander walked over to the front row of chairs and sat in one right across from the desk. Riley watched him with some interest as Xander rubbed his butt on the chair to warm the seat. It wasn't a flirtation thing Xander wore slacks the material wasn't very thick and the coldness of the plastic stabbed right through them. When he was sufficiently comfortable Xander said, "So I was thinking you, me, we should go on a date."

"You are so bold, sir," Riley drawled in a pretty passable Southern accent.

"Thinking it's time to take charge."

"Is that right?"

"Yep. Especially with a big tease like you."

"I am not a tease!"

"Sure you are. Batting your lashes, laughing at all my jokes, and those coy little smiles… I'm surprised you haven't licked your lips at me yet."

"Maybe you shouldn't come on so strong. Maybe I like to be romanced first."

Xander got up from the chair and walked around the desk and stood next to Riley. Riley stared up at Xander and he was blinking a lot—he was nervous. He was so unbearably cute. Xander leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. Riley's lips tasted cool wetand clean and Xander wanted more of that so he went in for more than a gentle kiss.

Riley sighed hard, sitting up straighter in his chair to kiss Xander as deeply as Xander kissed him. Xander caressed Riley's neck with his hands, loving the feel of the tensed muscles under his fingers. Riley stood without breaking their kiss and Xander found himself having to crane his head up instead of down to do the same. Riley tentatively put his hands on Xander's hips, but Xander wasn't having any more of Riley's skittishness. He took Riley's wrists in his hands and maneuvered Riley's arms around his waist, then placed his arms over Riley's shoulders.

_God, have I missed this_, Xander thought when Riley's arms tightened. Their lips drifted apart but the kissing didn't stop. Xander's lips glided against Riley's chin, just below his lower lip, kissing a little here and little there.

"Now would someone who's playing hard to get kiss like that?"

"Truthfully? Yeah," Xander replied.

"Who have you been kissing?"

"Girls, mostly."

"Ah-ha."

"Yeah, liked to get me worked up with the smooches, then it's all like, 'Put that thing away!'"

"So you just whipped it out on them, huh?"

Xander nuzzled his nose into Riley's neck. He smelled very good. Like bar soap and the fabric softener from his shirt. "I was illustrating my point," Xander said. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Frat Boy."

"I was making a suggestion, Townie."

Xander pulled his face away from Riley's neck to look into his eyes. Xander was definitely going to comment, but Riley's lips lay in wait and ensnared his in another kiss. Xander was beginning to think he was making some headway in his plan to seduce Riley Finn.

* * *

It worked, Xander got his man and kept getting him every chance he got. But the luster of his accomplishment was starting wear away; his guilt was the acid tarnishing his love-buzz. It never made the sex bad, because despite Riley's long**-**repressed attitude towards sex with men he really put himself into their lovemaking. He was willing to try anything Xander suggested. There was a great feeling of power in that, Xander thought, being the one with all the experience. Riley may have been the old man in their couplet, being a full three years older than him, but Xander was the wise man where the bedroom was concerned.

What Xander really liked about being in bed with Riley, almost as much as the sex was that Mr. Finn, all six feet three inches of him, loved snuggling. In fact he insisted on it, which Xander found strange at first; but he got used to it fast. Larry wasn't a big snugger, he was a real "Wham bam thanks dude" and rollover type. Xander didn't mind it so much at the time because the sex really hit the spot, so to speak, and that was pretty much all Xander was looking for out of sex. Until Riley pulled out of him and wrapped him up in his trembling arms Xander had no idea what he was missing. It was a nice feeling and he reciprocated, relearning his post**-**coital behavior after that first night.

"Honey, I'm home," Riley announced as he entered the room. He was carrying a hefty**-**sized gym bag in his right hand. His hair was wet to drying, like he got out of the shower ten minutes ago, or just finished a serious workout. Yet, his clothes were bone dry.

Xander considered taking the pillow from under his head and throwing it at Riley for spewing such a cliché. _Nah, too comfy, _he thought, as he was reluctant to give up the fluffiness. Instead he opted to join in on the corny-copia.

"Dinner's in the oven, sweetheart. Now, where's your paycheck? I got shit to do."

"Hardy**-**har-har." Riley put the gym bag down on the floor, his gaze firmly placed on Xander. "Are you precognitive? Because I was recently imagining you laid out on my bed just like that."

"A coincidence. I have no intention of satisfying your filthy carnal desires," Xander said snarling his lips in mock revulsion.

"I'll lick you in that place you like."

"Um… Top or bottom?"

Riley laughed and leapt onto the bed next to Xander, pressing his front against Xander's side then swung one of his legs over Xander's hips, the meaty part of his thigh resting firmly on Xander's crotch while his hands searched out other naughty parts. "I'm going tell my Mom she was wrong about a man's stomach being the way to his heart. Obviously it's his perineum," he said.

Xander turned on his side so they faced each other, Riley's long leg still wrapped around his waist. He slid his hand over Riley's leg all the up to his ass and gave it a friendly squeeze as he said, "No, she's right food is definitely the superhighway to my heart What you're talking about is the way into my pants."

"I've had ample opportunity to notice that."

_Shower,_ Xander concluded once he and Riley began kissing. He could smell the soap residue on Riley's skin, and he could smell his water**-**damp hair. Either the Initiative has showers on site, or Riley used a fraternity brother's shower before showing up.

Xander wanted to ask Riley what gave him and his people so much trouble, and if he was okay.

Usually Riley didn't shower after patrols unless there was combat in the field, which was alarming since the Initiative was locking up demons left and right. The demons they didn't catch were keeping their heads down. Even Buffy had a hard time meeting her quota because the pickings were so slim.

Knowing Riley was running around Sunnydale tussling with creepy crawlies and not being able to help was driving Xander crazy. It was a hundred times worse than when he had to accept there were times Buffy had to do the Slayer thing by herself. But at least she had super powers and Giles. Buffy was Superman and Giles was Oracle, the perfect blend of brawn and brains. Stir in a little sidekick action on Willow and Oz and Xander's part and you had an unbeatable team.

The Initiative didn't have a clue about life on the Hellmouth. Sure, Riley and his commandos had their guns and fancy toys, but as long as they remained ignorant about the true nature of the Hellmouth then sooner or later something bad was going to happen. Xander tried discussing magic with Riley once to test the commando's knowledge of the arcane and fucking strange. The guy didn't even consider the possibility of magic existing for more than ten seconds before dismissing it flat**-**out. It was that kind of close mindedness from his boyfriend that scared the hell out of Xander and made him want to tell Riley the truth about his spying and the Hellmouth.

Riley rolled them over so Xander was on top. Riley was hard inside his jeans, and Xander was fast getting there. Clothes flew. Fruity Booty was applied and so was the rubber, then Xander was inside Riley. And it was perfect. The joy of it just washed all thoughts of confession from Xander's head. He could never risk losing this man. He'll keep dancing on the precipice until there's nothing else to do but fall.


	2. Chapter 2

Spies Like Us part 2

Disclaimer: Do not own a single Mutant Enemy character in this story. Not a one. So, if you insist on suing me, I must warn you I have few possessions worth an hour of your lawyer's time.

* * *

Spike and Oz found out before the rest of the gang.

Of course Spike started in with the innuendo right away. Saying stuff like: "How's the uncover work going, Droopy?" or "Don't be too _sucked_ up in the job, mate" or Xander's personal favorite, "I really appreciate you bending over… backwards to help me out, Xander".

Xander was so worried about Buffy and Willow and Giles finding out about his relationship with Riley he was extra careful not to clue them to it. He carefully considered what he said about Riley and how he said it. He was even more careful about how he acted during his regular briefings to the gang. Despite all his caution, all his fear, it never entered Xander's mind that Spike didn't need anything but his nose to catch on.

All it took was Xander forgetting to shower before leaving the frat house one morning. He was late for work and rushed straight to the pizza parlor. Usually when he stayed overnight at the frat house, Xander set Riley's alarm clock to go off an hour before he had to be at work. That way he had enough time to shower in Riley's room and swing by the Basement of Doom for a change of clothes.

Xander forgot the set the clock. So of course when he showed up at Giles's place to give his weekly report on Riley and the Initiative he reeked of Riley-sex.

Oz didn't say anything about the scent so Xander didn't realize Oz knew until he figured out how Spike guessed. Oz knew about Larry, too, Xander concluded after he thought about what else the werewolf smelled on him over the years. Oz never said a word or hinted he knew so there was a chance he wouldn't say anything to the girls or Giles about Riley—Xander hoped with every fiber of his being that was true.

Xander was more concerned about Spike snitching. Although he was Spike's best chance to find out how to get the chip out of his head, Spike was capable of anything, being Satan's minion and all. It was also just as likely Spike wouldn't say anything at all. Hell, he was demented enough to want Xander to sleep with the enemy, as it were, if it got the vampire closer to "eating" properly. Hopefully, the fact Spike was a self-centered bastard would work for Xander instead of annoying the shit out of him.

Spike continued making sneaky gay jokes at Xander's expense (but he heard worse coming from his parents), but it was all good as long as he didn't inform. That didn't mean Xander didn't want to send Spike to that big dustbin in Hell. Especially since he knew it was only a matter of time before the blackmail started.

* * *

"Look here, mutt, I need cash," Spike said in lieu of a greeting, then barged his way inside the basement. Spike wasn't wearing his trademark leather duster, but did wear a familiar ensemble: a tight black Tee shirt, equally snug black jeans, and Doc Martins, which were black once but were so scuffed, either by time or design, they were almost gray. Sunnydale was in the midst of a heat wave and the temperature stayed in the high nineties even after the sun went down and Spike looked cool as a cucumber; a human being would be drenched in sweat wearing the same kind of clothes.

"Come in, Spike! Pull up a chair! Can I get you a drink? O-negative okay?"

"Cut the crap, numb skull," Spike said after taking up Xander on his entirely sarcastic offer to sit down in the old lounge chair Xander found at a garage sell. Spike hoisted one lean, muscular leg over the arm of the chair after sprawling himself all over it like a ninety pound Nero. "I need money and I need it yesterday!"

Xander gave the vampire the Stank Eye and crossed his arms over his chest. "Maybe you should sell your blood if you're so hard up," he said. "Although I suppose that'd be kind of ironic," Xander added, grinning.

Spike glared at him and barked, "Don't give me lip! In case you've forgotten I have your sorry little life in the palm of my hand."

"Spike, you need to leave now," Xander said, his voice low and warning.

"You need to realize I got you by the balls," Spike replied. Then grinned at Xander and said, "Of course, you'd probably like that sort of thing."

"I'm sick and tired of you taking verbal pot shots at me, Spike!"

Spike waved his hand at Xander with a limp-wrist and said, "Oh, I'm just poking fun at ya."

"Get out."

"Not without my money."

"You're not getting dime one from me, Fangless!"

Spike stood and stretched lazily, gratuitously displaying the lean, muscular lines of his body and looked at Xander knowingly. Every so often since Spike found out Xander was gay, sometimes he would do something lewd with his body like grab his crotch or rub his chest when Xander was looking. Spike was under the impression doing stuff like that would get Xander's tongue wagging. What he failed to grasp was that even if he weren't an evil, undead bloodsucker, Xander still wouldn't want anything to do with him. Xander wasn't going to settle for a meaningless sexual relationship anymore, no matter how good it'd feel (though Xander loathe to admit it, Spike probably was very good in bed), not after finding what he had with Riley.

"Then I guess I'll head over to the Watcher's," Spike said when he was done stretching. "Ask him for the dosh. But what bit of information can I offer in exchange, hmm?"

Xander knew Spike might try something low and despicable as this, the only surprise was how long it took Spike to exploit his knowledge. Xander waited until Spike sauntered over to the door before he called out to him. Spike turned around, grinning triumphantly.

"What's up, ATM—I mean, Xander?"

Xander gritted his teeth and turned away before he screamed. Xander went over to the bed and picked up his discarded jacket. He got his wallet out of the side pocket and pulled out seventy-five dollars he put aside just for this occasion.

"Here, fucktard," Xander said when he handed Spike the cash.

Spike ignored Xander's insult and began counting the bills. When he was done he looked at Xander and said, "This all? How is this supposed to help me live at the level of comfort to which I'm accustomed?"

Xander doesn't know what his face looked like at that moment, but whatever he looked like was enough to make Spike run out of the basement.

Xander threw his jacket back onto the mattress with curse on his lips then sat down hard on the bed. He buried his face in his hands and moaned. It was clear he could not go on paying Spike blackmail money. He had to scrimp and save just to make that payment. Rent and food, plus putting a few bucks away towards his regular savings didn't leave Xander much room to splurge on a medium one topping pizza, never mind regular blackmail payments.

At least the money he gave Spike bought him time, Xander figured about two weeks, maybe less. He'd have to tell Riley everything, the girls and Giles, too. The only question was whom he would inform first.

* * *

Giles was knocking back pretty, amber-colored liquor by the time Xander got to his apartment. He shook his head when he saw Xander and the reproach Xander saw in the older man's eyes said, 'You are and have always been a major disappointment to me.' Spike was idly thumbing through four neat one hundred dollar bills, whistling a jaunty tune on Giles's couch.

"You unbelievable bastard," Xander said. He wanted to sound outraged, but he half-expected Spike to do this, anyway.

"What can I say, the pay's better on the good side of town," Spike replied.

"Care to explain yourself, Xander?" Giles asked, then gulped down the remaining liquid in the glass. He didn't wait for Xander's reply, he turned his back on him and moved over to the decanter sitting on the coffee table in front of Spike, whose booted feet were propped on it, and refilled the glass.

Xander's first impulse was to prostrate right away and whine I'm sorry repeatedly. But he was tired of saying that to Giles. He's said it so much to the Watcher it's lost all significance. Besides, he wasn't ashamed of Riley or himself being with Riley.

Xander steadied himself physically and emotionally before he answered Giles. He took a deep breath and said, "I don't have to explain myself. I didn't do anything wrong."

That brought Giles eyes back on Xander quick, the drink in his hand held motionless chin high. "Pardon me?"

Xander's statement caught Spike's attention as well and the vampire stopped riffling through his money. His ears and bloodlust had perked up, he looked eager at the prospect of row between Xander and Giles. It was Xander's guess strife of any kind was attractive to a violence-starved vampire like Spike.

"Giles, I did my job and I never lied to you," _I wish I could say the same to Riley_, Xander thought ruefully. "The rest is none of you business."

"Ho-Ho!" Spike crowed and re-arranged himself on the couch. He was settling in for the show. Spike looked like he needed popcorn.

Giles downed the rest of what was probably his fourth glass of pretty, amber-colored stuff and very carefully set the glass down on the table. Xander was startled on the inside, subconsciously he expected Giles to throw the glass across the room. He wasn't used to drunks being so careful, so deliberate, especially when they were upset.

"Do you have any idea of the danger you've placed yourself in?" Giles asked.

"Danger?"

"Yes, danger, you…" Giles snatched his glasses off his face and looked down for a moment, replaced them then looked at Xander again. His face appeared calm, but Xander did not miss the snarl that almost claimed it, or its heated flush. "Xander, the Initiative is an organization with vast, far-reaching influence. If you're discovered spying on one of them--"

"I know that, Giles," Xander said in exasperation. "We were willing to take that risk. I was willing, remember?"

Giles couldn't control his outrage and let out a frustrated growl. He huffed and puffed for a few moments, his blue eyes blazing. He stared at Xander like he wanted to hit him.

"Xander," Giles continued after he calmed, "you weren't supposed to… get that close to Finn. It is likely the Initiative closely monitor their agents."

"So, what, you think they looked into my back round?" Xander asked, suppressing a snicker. "Come on, what are they going to find? My parents like the drinky-drinky? My aunt is so hard up for a man she'd probably date Spike?"

"Up yours, mate."

"Besides, me and Riley are careful--"

"Hope so," Spike said. "You humans got so many nasty diseases swimmin' around in you, you should be labeled bio-hazards!"

"Shut up, Spike!" Xander snapped.

"Never mind him," Giles said. "Xander, there's no telling what kind of investigating they'd use. There may be surveillance on your house!"

"I don't think…" Xander trailed off and tried to remember if there was ever a time when Buffy or Willow was over to the basement and they talked about anything sensitive. No, there wasn't a time. The girls don't hang out there, not if Xander can help it. He didn't want to be there, why inflict that hellhole on his friends? The only time Xander talked about anything having to do with Slayers and slaying, the Hellmouth itself, in the basement was with… _Uh-oh_.

"Watch out, Droopy's thinking. His head might explode all over ya," said the devil on Xander's mind: Spike.

"That's… that's very unlikely," Xander said, though the certainty he'd pulled around him like a shield a few moments ago was cracking.

"You can't know that," Giles replied.

"If they know, Riley would know, too, and he doesn't," Xander said. "He… he wouldn't be with me if he did."

"Xander, he could be…"

"No!" Xander didn't scream, but his voice barked. He didn't want to hear another word from Giles about Riley. He didn't want to hear Giles voice fears he was beginning to have himself. "You don't know everything!"

"It's obvious you have deep feelings for Finn and they are clouding your judgment. After everything Buffy went through with Angel, I can't believe you don't see how dangerous your actions are!"

Xander stared at Giles silent, stunned. Then when it sunk in what Giles said, Xander found it very, very hard—almost impossible—to control his anger. "Are you…?" Xander couldn't finish. His jaw creaked; the tension building in the muscles in his neck, jaw, and cheeks actually made it hurt to talk. Xander quickly circumvented his anger and forced a grin to his face.

"Oh, yeah, me and Riley? Exactly like Buffy and Angel. All the romance, all the gut-wrenching drama, not so much with the corpse humping, and nada on the homicidal rampages, but, goddamn, it's just like looking in a mirror!"

"This is no bloody joke!" Giles shouted. The funny thing, Xander didn't flinch, not even on the inside.

"Comparing me and Riley to the disturbed melodrama that is Buffy and Angel is what I call the epitome of hysterical."

"I knew it was a terrible idea to let you take on such an important task," Giles said, "I knew you lacked the maturity necessary to accomplish anything so important."

"Yeah, maybe," Xander replied the grin gone from his face. "And maybe you can forget about me taking on any more tasks for you period."

"Now wait," Spike spoke up. "Let's not start saying things we don't mean."

"I think that may be for the best," Giles said, the tightness in his voice shifted from angry to detached and patronizing. Hearing it sent Xander's blood pressure through the roof.

"Go to Hell," he said and turned around and left the apartment. He wanted to tell Buffy and Willow personally, but if he had to go through with them what he just did with Giles, no fucking thanks! Xander walked away from Giles's complex seething right down to his toes. A few moments later, he heard footsteps coming from behind him then, Spike was walking beside him.

"What do you want?" Xander grumbled at him, his eyes focused on the stretch of sidewalk ahead of him. It was almost full-on nighttime; Xander figured he could get to the campus before darkness fell completely over Sunnydale.

"C'mon, mate, I'm sure the Watcher didn't mean what he said back there. Blowing off steam, I bet he was," Spike said. His accent more cockney than Xander's ever heard it, and friendly on top of that. He looked at Spike.

"What the hell do you care if he meant what he said?"

"You truly wound me, Xander! I hate to see two courageous and upright blokes fall out because of a misunderstanding."

Xander stared at Spike and for a brief moment was stupid enough to accept Spike's reasons. The stupidity only lasted a moment, thankfully. "Forget about ever getting that chip out, Spike."

The friendly expression on Spike's face vanished like a wisp of smoke after a strong wind. "You bugger! You plonker, after everything I done for you!"

Xander stopped walking and shouted in Spike's face. "Done… Are you kidding? You sold me out like three seconds after I paid you!"

"And it's my fault you're so damn broke you can't pay decent blackmail?"

"Oh, man," Xander groaned and started walking again. The thing was he couldn't even stay mad at Spike. It was like blaming a dog that hasn't been house-trained for shitting on the carpet.

"Well, who needs ya! The Scoobies are better off without a naff like you mucking up things!" Spike yelled after Xander.

Xander stopped. It took him the span of a few deep breaths before he calmed down. He turned around and stared at Spike with a still expression. "Say, Spike, are you still living in that crypt, the one in Sunnydale Cemetery?"

Spike gave Xander a wary look before he answered. "Yeah. Why?"

Xander smiled and casually replied, "No reason, no reason. See 'round, Spike."

Xander turned and walked away, leaving Spike to ponder the future behind him.

* * *

Graham let Xander into the frat house. He smiled and Xander managed to return one, but it was weak. Not even the eye-candy Graham provided wearing a tight white T-shirt, and hip-hugging jeans (displaying a tantalizing hint of hip), was enough to inspire anything more than a wane smile out of Xander.

Xander moved through the house, ignoring the other residents as he weaved passed them to get to Riley's room on the ground floor. When he got outside Riley's door, Xander let himself in without hesitation. He never was one for fancy phrases the way Giles was, but the words: _If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well, it were done quickly_, kept repeating in his mind.

Riley sat on the floor, his back against the side of the bed facing the door. He wore his gray UC Sunnydale sweatshirt and a pair of faded blue jeans. He was barefoot. Riley held an open textbook in his left hand; in his other hand, he held a yellow highlight marker. Riley finished striking a line across a page with the marker before glancing up at Xander.

_Jesus, it's like déjà vu_ …

"Hey," Riley said, snapping the book shut. He stood and tossed the book onto the bed, then capped the marker and tossed it, too.

"'Sup," Xander greeted, his arms folded over his chest. He hadn't come here with the intention of being defensive, but already he was trying to protect himself before the truth left his mouth.

"Thought you were going to spend time with your girls?"

Xander shrugged. "Plans of mice and men," he said.

"Well, if you're up for it, I wanted to get out of town. You got the weekend off, right?"

"Yeah. Where to are we going?" Xander asked, willing his legs to move until he started walking over to Riley.

"Wine country, baby!"

Xander stopped an arms-length away from Riley and gave him a look.

"Okay, okay, the 'baby' was unnecessary."

"The possibility exists."

"We're going to Napa."

"What's in Napa?"

"Rolling hills, vineyards, and the prettiest sunsets you ever did see."

Xander grinned and said, "I love when you talk hick like that."

"So, after we drop by your place and get you packed, we can be checked into a cabin and lying in front of a roaring fire in a few hours," Riley said.

"What about--?" Xander was going to ask what about the Initiative. Over the months, Xander figured out Riley's schedule, the paramilitary parts, too. His TA responsibilities were flexible, but the Initiative required Riley front and center without fail, day or night. It didn't fit that they'd let Riley go for a whole weekend.

"What about what?"

"Nothing. I'll be glad to go… but I… want to… Riley, I love you."

Riley shoved his hands into the back pockets of his blue jeans and smiled. "I love you, too," he said.

Xander tried to smile but the effort only made his lips quiver. _Aw, man, why does he have to stand there looking so sweet and earnest_?

"I'll hold you to that."


End file.
